personalized baby blanket: Cure your post-holiday doldrums

Posted by the Asbury Park Press on 09/7/06
BY PATTI MARTIN
STAFF WRITER

Thank goodness the weekend has finally arrived. Even with a shortened work week, the days just seemed to drag on and on.

But now the weekend is here and it's time to kick back, relax and have a little fun.

Enjoy.

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Ever wonder how the rich really live?

You get an insider's sassy view in Linda Francis Lee's lastest fictional work, "The Devil in the Junior League" (St. Martin's Press, $22.95).

The Junior League of Willow Creek, Texas, is tres exclusive. Undesirables need not apply. Fredericka Mercedes Hildebrand Ware (Frede to her friends) is a member beyond reproach . . . until her husband betrays her, steals her money and runs off to places unknown. It's something Frede (pronounced Freddy) would prefer to keep under wraps — and who could blame her? Who wants to become fodder for the gossip mill?

And it gets worse. There's only one person in town who stands a chance at helping her get revenge: a tasteless, gold chain-wearing lawyer who has bought his way into Frede's tony neighborhood. His fee? Frede has to get his tacky, four-inch-stiletto-and-pink-spandex-wearing wife, Nikki, into the Junior League.

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After a summer of reruns, "Family Guy" is back with a new episode at 9 p.m. Sunday on Channels 5 and 29.

In the third season opener of the animated comedy, Lois saves Stewie's beloved teddy bear, Rupert. The act gets Stewie thinking that maybe he shouldn't kill his dear old mom and clings to her like a personalized baby blanket.

There's a little problem, though: Stewie's change in demeanor doesn't go over well with Lois and she gets sick of all of his loving attention.

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We have a national bird, a national song and a national debt — why not have a national instrument?

And what better way to keep the red and blue states happy — and humming — than with a kazoo.

Don't know how to play one? No worries.

"The Complete How To Kazoo" by Barbara Stewart (Workman, $10.95) tells you everything you need to know (and then some) about the most user-friendly instrument ever invented. After all, if you can hum, sing or talk, you can kazoo. Now that's democracy in action!

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Are you ready for some football?

If you can't be a weekend warrior, you can always pretend to be one with Head Bangers Big Kick Football from Funrise ($19.99).

To play, spin the wheel to determine your shooting distance and set your player up for the shot. Once you've aimed for the goal, simply slam on your player's head to shoot. Take turns with your buddies and see who can claim title to longest field goal.